Modern Warfare 3: Taking "From bad to worse" to a New Level.

Evening all! Now before I get started I just need to clarify it has been a RIDICULOUS amount of time since I last posted on here, literally 8 months or something? Yeah sorry about that. But I'm back! and I'm sure everyone has missed my glorious pessimism and general heartlessness (heh) But I'm back with a returning post today in my usual fashion of complaining, (but hey I'm British it's in my very nature to be a moody b******) So I'll begin.

Modern Warfare 3, the very name shakes me to the core, I ever did a review on here but I don't think I needed to to be honest, general public opinion is completely divided. You've got the players who've been playing CoD since the beginning back in 2006 (myself) and the n3wb5! Now if you've been playing Call of Duty for more than 5 years I can guarantee you hate MW3, and if you only got an Xbox at Christmas I bet you love it. Now before I start engaging full rant mode I ca come up with a summary of MW3 and that is...It is not a good game.

It was released last November and even before I bought a copy I knew I was going to hate it, I just had to buy it because everyone else did (consumerism at it's finest) Now Call of Duty single player when compared to multiplayer is a bit like comparing he music of Mozart and Nicki Minaj...they are completely different and you shouldn't just one of them by your view of the other. But in this case, and scarily enough the campaign of Modern Warfare 3 was just...ok. It was repetitive, and the same ol' same ol' but as a story it was impressive enough. But the big one, the top dog is the multiplayer and quite frankly ever since my first game on it I have hated MW3 multiplayer ever since. Now one cause is not Infinity Ward's fault and that is the new influx of new players to the Xbox and by "New Players" I mean "Little f****** who have single handedly ruined Xbox Live" but that's another subject. Infinity Ward have overblown the game online, there is too much happening, there is too much to keep in time with. The simple life of a FPS online is long gone my friends. So in my usual aggressive/pessimistic way I have listed all the faults with the game online.

1. Overpowered weapons (SMG's)

Now the submachine gun, a small compact little thing that is good for removing target at close range, they usually have a small ammo supply and don't have necessarily a lot of power. But in MW3 they are a portable thermonuclear weapon! You can have an SMG and kill someone from across a map with less than 5 bullets. leaving the assault rifle to collect dust in the armoury, why carry a heavy assault weapon around when you can have an automatic water pistol that weighs the same as Victoria Beckham.

2. Machine pistols. (FMG9)

Now machine pistols were introduced in MW2 back in 09' and it was a risky maneuver, making the handgun completely obsolete. It was catering for people who are unable to fire single shot weapons...Noobs basically. But in MW3 the preferred weapon of these skill-less, game ruiners is the FMG9 now on it's own as a side arm, it's just a fast firing SMG but the craze these days is using it akimbo (two of em') which makes you Robocop or some s***. You can win a firefight with these little s**** against almost anything, an SMG, an assault rifle...a rocket launcher, you name it. And have IW tried doing anything about it? ...Have they bollocks.

3. Lag compensation.

Now a first for MW3 is lag compensation, basically it means if you have a good connection and other players don't it gives them an advantage in the game. Which sounds as fair as saying Hitler was a nice guy. If you have a bad connection THAT'S YOUR OWN F****** FAULT, don't take it out on me. Now I have a good connection to games which means lag compensation is always against me. So now I tell my sister to stream music when I'm online so then I can have an advantage. This game is falling apart from within...it's every an for himself out there.

4. Spawning system.

Now the CoD series and any other FPS is going to encounter some sort of problem with their spawn system...it's inevitable and perfectly understandable, humans are more unpredictable than a computer and that's cool. But MW3 is different, it's as if the spawning system on it has been constructed by an orangutan with down's syndrome. In other game syou may spawn and then maybe 5 - 6 seconds later you get killed. Boo hoo. wrong place, wrong time. But on MW3 i have have this problem maybe 10 -15 times in a row. It's a mixture of me spawning when enemies know I'm there, or spawning an enemy when I don't know they are there. I can guarantee without a shadow of a doubt in every game I play online I WILL be spawn killed. And yet again have Infinity Ward done anything about...HELL TO THE NO.

5. Terrible Maps.

Now every FPS game has maybe 1 or 2 maps your'e not too fond of and that's cool as well but out of the 12 online maps on MW3 I'm saying at least 6 of them are completely s****. The layout, the building locations are just ridiculous. But I've got to hand it to them the maps are very black and white, you either love them or hate them, a bit like Marmite (which is strange because I think Marmite is just "ok")



...Buuut anyway that concludes my rant (and a half) on Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3, I had to make it a long one because I haven't posted in so long! So I hope you enjoyed my harsh harsh words but feel free to leave a comment with your own opinions.

Mikey.

Organised Intervention in Libya (OIL)

So I'm straying away from gaming for today and going into more serious matters, politics! Yeaah.
Today I'm just merely giving my opinion on and some facts about the NATO intervention in Libya and why it's not all it's cracked up to be. Now if you're in possession of a television or are just alive you will know that all across the Middle East and the Arab world people have gotten pissed off with their autocratic governments and breach of human rights, and good on them I say! Firstly Tunisia had enough of it's president Ben Ali and after numerous protests he stepped down after 23 years, the same followed in Egypt when after even more strenuous protesting and loss of innocent life president Hosni Mubarak stepped down after 30 years.

But the big one is Libya, the North African state ran by none other than melty face man himself...Muammar al Gadaffi, and he is so delusional with power in his country he refuses to step down, despite near enough the entire population wanting him gone. He started using deadly force against his own people just like in Tunisia, Egypt and several other Middle Eastern countries, and when news of this spread to the West the first thing they planned was "Help for the civilians of Libya" which is all well and good? but why? because there's so much oil in Libya you could make the Mediterranean look like the gulf of Mexico 5 times over. Now I'm not saying what Gadaffi is doing is right but if you look at other countries in the world today that governments are killing their own people in goes completely unnoticed but when there's natural resources involved ahaa you've got to protect these poor innocent civilians.

Let's look at Syria shall we? Syria is located in the Northern Middle East next to Turkey, Lebanon and not far from Iran, Now it's factually documented that Syria is massacring it's own people because they disagree with their system of government, and also more protesters have been killed in Syria than compared to Libya! But why aren't NATO going into Syria all guns blazing? because surprise, surprise Syria isn't famed for it's oil reserves. Although there is oil in Syria it borders Turkey which is a strong ally of NATO and the EU, it's also close Iran which if NATO decides to intervene in a country just a few miles away, our Persian friends aren't just going to let it fly by. I just hope Syria sorts itself out.

But other countries with widespread violence are Algeria located to the west of Libya and not as rich in that special mineral and enough reason to justify an intervention. Also Yemen and Oman! located right at the bottom of the Arabian peninsular these two countries are on the brink of a civil war, but it's not important enough for "help"

But near enough every Middle Eastern country is having some sort of protests and a many are killing these protesters, but why didn't NATO intervene in Egypt? because Egypt is an ally to the West and they don't have that precious black gold. But Libya was a treasure chest to NATO, an autocratic government lasting over 40 years, a mad dictator hated by everyone even his own people and other Middle Eastern countries, a country which has attacked the West on numerous occasions and that lovely, lovely oil!

So here's a map I found of global oil reserves and I've edited it myself to comapare all these countries and how everything really falls into place, click to enlarge. And look how much on an anomaly Libya is.

So there is my rant abbout it all, please feel free to comment and what not.

L.A Noire: The Review

Evening all, May 31st? Sheeesh it's been a while, but let's get stuck in! LA Noire! and my review of it! It was in production since 2004 and was constantly delayed on the release date and in a way everybody just forgot about it, but in February of this year they announced that it would be released on May 24th and thus came the hype! In the various trailers it boasted in depth gameplay and a new system of game design using motion capture from real peoples faces, and with it being made by the mighty Rockstar it made is all pretty much like a five year old who had just been told they're going to Disneyland.

So let's begin...L.A Noire grasped me when I was playing it, it threw me straight into 1940's Los Angeles and made me detective MrDrMikey or Cole Phelps as you're known in the game, You are assigned to various cases across 4 different departments of the LAPD Traffic, Homicide, Vice and Arson I believe. As the game progresses you go through them all. And with the game (On Xbox 360) being 3 discs long I felt I was going to be playing it for months, but I wasn't (Basically because I'm a nerd) and I completed it in 3 days, But anyway I'm drifting from the point! The motion capture and the vocabulary of the characters makes it almost as if it's a Hollywood movie. And the general case solving and interrogation is superb and almost makes you feel like a hard man, when really you're an 18 year old sipping tea in your bedroom.

But this sounds good no? and yes it is! but this was about a quarter into the game, after this it just seemed to repeat on itself, it was almost as if they handed me 4 copies and just changed the scenery a little, and from Rockstar I was expecting a smash hit I would play for months when really there is no real action in the free roam just a giant city with f*** all in it. Team Bondi and R* focused too much on the campaign infact so much that as it progressed (let's say 50% through) it felt like they were running out of ideas for content so juts repeated the same stuff over and over, Dare I say that LA Noire is overrated? I'm not sure if I should because the big guys IGN, Machinima etc have made out as if it's the second coming of Christ, and if I wa sdoing a review on how amazing the first 25% of a game is LA Noire would be the best thing since sliced bread, it just got over repetive and as for the ending well I'm not saying what happens, but my testicles hurt from being kicked so hard. I honetsly feel uneasy about digging at a Rockstar game, but I may aswell, I think we've been shown that Rockstar can't do the "good guy" routine, I'll finish off with saying that LA Noire is definitely worth a buy, but if you agree with what I've just wrote then at least wait for the price to drop a little. but I myself cannot review this game on a whole so I'll split it up...

Gameplay - 8.5/10
Graphics - 10/10
Story - 4.5/10

Thanks for reading and all the best :)

It's Over... (Black Ops Eulogy Rant)

Ladies, Gentlemen, Boy and Girls I would like to announce the termination of my Black Ops career it was April 27th at around 2pm that I traded with a wise noble known as HMV my copy of Call of Duty: Black Ops, in exchange for 20 of the shiniest pounds in their possession and to be honest do I regret it? DO I HELL? I'm now going to explain what in Gods name went wrong.

It was November 2010, I was young, delirious an...(Ok I'll stop with this voice that you're reading in a 1940's war documentary narrator style) I bought Black Ops because basically its CoD! You HAVE to buy it merely because you're a gamer. And the year before BOps was Modern Warfare 2 which in everyones eyes was terrible (in a summary) but Black Ops was different, different in a way that I would physically enrage at it. The campaign was good as with every other CoD installment but I'd say less than 20% of the online was fair or fun.

The weapons are f***** up with some being grossly overpowered than others, the spawning system looks like it was constructed by an ape and the server connectivity is about as useful as a Stephen Hawking workout DVD. I never thought I'd say this about not only a Call of Duty game but even a game in general ...I hate Call of Duty Black Ops...and I believe many other people will agree, in fact a shocking amount of people will agree, it has shaken my belief in the Call of Duty series and I may not even buy Modern Warfare 3 in November because of it. But I put a lot of emphasis on the "May" i just said, I know for certain I am not buying any other game made by Treyarch even if they give me one for free. Now I'm well within 'Mikey Rant Mode' and you're probably thinking at the moment "Jesus! Mikey?! he was always a fun, calm character!" not today friends.

Treyarch let 'Game of the year 2010' and 'Fastest Selling Game' get to their massive heads and completely gave up on the real people who play their games, they "patched" problems with it but in all honesty f*** all changed, Treyarch impressed me back in 2008 when they made World at War it was different but fun, not this time round, now I will always praise the campaign of Black Ops it was very good indeed and if you're a person who plays FPS's purely for the campaign then please buy Black Ops but if you like online play then don't stray anywhere near it because quite literally you will rip your own face off in sheer anger.

Thank you and goodnight.

Portal 2: My Review

Bongiourno everybody, don't ask why I'm speaking Italian it was something to go off on, but let's get stuck in eh? PORTAL 2! and my review!

Now Portal made by Valve who yes are more PC orientated but when it comes any release they don't let us down, I mean Half life, Portal 1 and the massively successful Left 4 Dead series, and with Portal's new installment they did fail to impress. Now I didn't play the first Portal much in fact I never actually owned the game, I borrowed it a few times from a friend and never got round to completing it. So I was pondering before Portal 2's release whether to buy it just because I might not have had any idea what was going on, but I went forward and purchased and it and to be honest it was f****** awesome!

Not only is it deadly serious and well within the sci-fi genre it's also hilariously fun, right from the start I was hooked and Stephen Merchant as the clutz Wheatley, aswell as it being one of those games where it's annoying but in the good way, there were some parts when I had no idea what to do but I wouldn't give up.

Now here is a screenshot of one of the 3 surface gels featured in the game, the blue is "Repulsion Gel" which makes you jump really high, an orange which is "Propulsion Gel" which makes you all Speedy Gonzalez like and the white "conversion gel" which makes surfaces suitable for a portal to be placed. All of which are really fun to use, sometimes you get side tracked and just mess around like I did.

But the campaign was superb and always intriguing and full of humour, and I'm not going to reveal any spoilers but the ending was superb! but I'll leave that one with you, overall it is a very good game and I would recommend it for anyone wanting a challenge, One small problem I felt was the length of the game if it was longer it would be brilliant, but games of this nature have to have a lot of time put into the development. I haven't got round to the co op yet but from other online reviews it looks like it won't disappoint, when I do I'll post another blog about it :) but my overall score for Portal 2 is... 9/10 :)


Peace.

GTA Style Map

Ok guys I got bored on this "eventful" Thursday evening and after playing GTA IV for some time I thought I would use my spare time wisely and design my own GTA style map, it's nothing impressive but let me know what you think :) (click the image to enlarge it)

Upcoming Games March 2011

I just read that I last posted on here on February 28th so I've been lazy! So no time for small talk! I've been looking through pages and news sites of upcoming games this year, and to be honest we are in for super treats! Now at this precise moment (March 18th 22:13pm) my gaming life has fizzled out for a while, I'm BORED basically! I can't look at Black Ops anymore it just enrages me to even glance at the case, and all my classics (The games I just wont get rid of) are wearing off. So I haven'y been on the ol' LIVE for some time, just been on GTA: San Andreas which never gets boring. So yes! I or if you agree "we" are at a boring time for gaming. So here are a few of the upcoming games for 2011 that I literally CANNOT wait for. let's get starrrtteeed.



L.A. Noire

Yes! A Rockstar game! So no disappointment for us on May 20th when this badman comes out, It's been in development for 6 years! (typical Rockstar) But from looking at the trailer on YouTube this game looks IMMENSE the graphics are almost 100% perfect and the gameplay isn't just your usual GTA Clone style it's riddled with strategic ways to create your own story and for the first time ever you play as a cop! So you're one of the good guys. The game is set in 1940's Los Angeles and is based around the "Noire" genre (Dark, shadowy film effects) which give it a mysterious feel to solving crimes. In my own opinion this game hasn't even been released yet and it's awesome. I can see it having the same effect as Red Dead Redemption which was released last year and it blew all of us away, I can't imagine being let down here at all. This game will definitely fall into my "classics" list.



Dead Island

ZOMBIES ARGHHHRUGH! Ah another Post Apocalyptic survival game to add to our collection! Now over the past few years, since Left 4 Dead was released the gaming community has suffered from "Zombie Fever" (not literally) and having mostly zombie style add ons for games (Nazi Zombies, Undead Nightmare, That Saints Row one?) and to be honest we love it! Now I haven't heard much about Dead Island but I know that it's set to be released later this year and with no sign of a Left 4 Dead 3 on the horizon it looks like the best option, the game focuses around mainly using melee weapons and not overpowered firearms, basically it's realistic! a trailer was released which makes it even more exciting. It's set on a tropical island highlighting that it may have a sandbox style to it, I would write more but very little information has been released.


DiRT 3

Now...I'm not usually a fan of the old racing games they all seem to be repetitive drivel (no offence) I had Forza Motorsport a few years back and it bored the crap out of me, But I also had both DiRT and DiRT 2 and they were really fun! Mainly because Rally driving is more intense and entertaining than driving round a figure 8 for 13 laps, And of course its the game of the Late Great Colin McRae Rest in Peace! I was more than impressed with DiRT 2 and personally I think it recieved a bad press I just hope on May 24th DiRT 3 gets the recognition it deserves.


Saints Row: The Third

The Row is back! And judging by sneaky previews even more badass than before! Now in this era of "GTA Clones" Saints Row fell way within that category, but to be honest nobody really cares, nobody cares if a game is "like GTA" what people do care about is "is it fun!?" and judging by the previous two installments YES...YES IT BLOODY IS. To be honest in my opinion and judge me if you will, Saints Row story modes aren't exactly award winning material and it's sort of far fetched in a cheesy/mediocre way, but that is not the point! the point is you can play Saints Row for hours on end like I did when I was 15 until 5am merely because it was fun! and the cheat mode was stuff of legends! and I cannot wait for SR3 I'll give the campaign a go but the general camaraderie makes me impatient, I will be "Addicted to tha Row!"


Far Cry 3

Oh YES, it's confirmed, it's on it way, it's awesome! Far Cry 3! Scheduled for later this year the sequel to 2008's Far Cry 2 is set to be quite the smash, The Far Cry series has always has a little but yet loyal following (that I am definitely part of)the reason why it's so appealing (to me anyway) is the fact you can explore! you don't have to stick to the storyline, and it's not like your usual repetitive FPS crap you get these days, it's gritty and unorthodox just the way we like it, and if the map making mode was awesome in 2008 what is it going to be like this year, I for one cannot wait for this, I've already re-bought FC2 just to get in the mood! even if it's 6 months before the release ^^

The (Unbiased) Xbox LIVE awards.

Ahoy followers and welcome to my humble abode, Now it's been a while since I posted properly on here so I'll just jump straight on in...XBOX LIVE AWARDS of course conducted by myself, basically it's a Monday evening and I'm bored so I've got my own online Oscars going on here, before I start i'd just like to say the nations Ive chosen aren't the ENTIRE gamers from that country. let's begin..

1. Nation with the most gamers under the age of 13:

- Well I hate to say it but it's jolly old Great Britain, Yeah America, Canada etc have their own selection of pre-pubescents but in all my experience on LIVE the UK has the most, (and that's not because I'm on a UK server) bad play Britain you're letting yourself down.

2. Nation with the worst attempts at insults.

- Do I even need to say? The winner is of course The United States! with nearly 100% of it's Xbox LIVE population completely unable to string together put down, snipe or insult. Shame on you America you'd think your renowned welfare and education system would have payed off but instead you INSIST on repetitively stereotyping each nation with the same boring description each time, sort it out.

3. Nation which receives the most abuse online.

- Poor old France that's who! They receive abuse from both sides of the Atlantic, In a game as soon as a player is known to be French both the British, Americans etc barrage the poor fella with "EWWWWW YOU'RE FRENCH YOU GARLIC SURRENDERER!" usually the Frenchman doesn't reply (mainly because he has no idea what's going on) It really is terrible and one day they will rise up and go all ninja on yo ass.

4. Most Racist Nation

And yet again its America, Te land of opportunity!...(To be a inbred with no morals) the one nation populated by redneck white supremacists who answer to Billy Bob and don't like anyone who isn't All American. Now it's not all of them but a disturbing amount at that! You come across middle class teenage Americans who can't stray away from "British Faggot" mainly because it requires increased brain activity to do so, and the Canadians receive a brunt of it, with Yanks saying "Say about!" and "eh?" letting yourself down USA.

5. Most Racist UK Country

Well it's England and no I'm not being biased because I'm Welsh, and no it's not all of them but a LOT at that, as soon as the accused hear either a Welsh, Scottish or Irish accent they ascend into Richard the FUCKING Lionheart mode and hurl abuse just because they're not English, bad form England.

6. Most over patriotic nation.

Well many of you may think it's America but in all honesty the Yanks don's shove it in your face like depicted on TV, in fact its the Scots! You mention anything about not being Scottish and they turn into William FUCKING Wallace and go on about how anyone who isn't Scottish is a homosexual. Infact It's not a problem really if anything it's quite hilarious. Well played Scotland.

Europe According to Britain

Now us Brits try and set ourselves as far away from our Trans-Atlantic cousins as possible but when it comes to geography and stereotyping we're not that much better, but we're miles ahead. ;) enjoy :)

Bored Wednesday Nights

Alright guys! Now I was very bored this evening so I decided to design my own "The World According to..." map, this one is America, only took me about 20 mins, please click to enlarge and let me know what you think ;) I may add a few more because they're quite fun to make :)

The past few weeks.

Evening all! It's been a while since I last posted on here! (a few weeks at the most!) and as you've probably guessed by my extensive usage of exclamation marks I'm in quite a good mood! Don't ask why it's just one of those days.

But in the time I've been away dwindling around I have managed to fix my own Xbox without having to pay Bill Gates an extortionate amount. And visit Moscow!. So my Xbox was playing up (meh) not an uncommon sight, and the bloody contraption wouldn't read any discs, no matter how much I exhaled like an unfortunate asthmatic on both the discs and the drive it just wouldn't comply, so...I did the unthinkable (and please don't judge me) I considered buying a new console, and I bet you're thinking "Oh Mikey it's ok you can buy a new Xbox" but no! I was actually considering for a few days buying perhaps I don't know...A BLOODY PS3! now before you recoil in horror clutching your crucifix with the "POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU" It was just a thought, but I've dedicated the last 5 years of my gaming "career" to Xbox and it won't end there, so I decided to fix it myself, (luckily the warranty ran out in 2008, so I wasn't losing out).

HORROR

So, I dismantled my precious box of x-ness, and made my way to the DVD drive (following a very helpful tutorial on YouTube here's the link >>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnYETi73Vbs) Now when I got into the bowels of my 360 I noticed a VAST, HUGE, MASSIVE (Insert extra word to emphasise largeness) of dust collecting in the fan and around the internal components. So I got my trusty hoover and cleared that s*** up! then... I broke into my DVD drive to find more of this fluffy devil inside and yes I got the old hoover out and did the same, then I cleaned the CD laser with a cotton bud dipped in aftershave...yeah aftershave! Something with a high alcohol content (vodka, nail varnish remover etc) and re assembled it AND IT WORKS FINE! It even reads discs which I thought were obsolete from two years ago! (I enjoyed a lengthy 3 hours on CoD4 ;) so if you're having the same problem do the same! if you're warranty hasn't expired of course.

---------------

And...I also to do with my college course visited Moscow, Russia! Which is very different to your usual Spain or Greece I must say, I went on February the 7th for a few days (Now I'm not going to go into too much detail because someone talking about one of their holidays is perhaps the most tedious experience ever) I went during the Russian winter which if I might add IS A REAL F****** WINTER! I went to the famous red square in all my wrapped up thermals shizz and the temperature was a cool -26 Celsius which is abysmally cold, I got frostbite on my chin and nose, (obscure places I know) but I bought a traditional Russian hat and that kept me warm! I went to Red Sqaure, The Kremlin and of course I went to see the tomb of Vladmir Lenin, you know the guy who's been dead for over 90 years but they still keep his body on display. And of course I brought back some Matroyshka's (The Russian Dolls) and some classic Vodka with a kick like...well Russian vodka? This is just a quick summary I'll put a few pictures below.

Outside St Basils

Mikhail Vladovich, Dont laugh! Everyone wore them!

The biggest douche's of the past 5 years: Part One (In no order)

Now I am a usually pessimistic person, in fact my optimism levels are the same as a Praying Mantis before intercourse, and it is depressing I know, and over the past few days I've been trying to create a list of people who are not favoured not only with me but also with the general public so here I present you with "The biggest douche's of the past 5 years" and this is in no particular order, (Basically because they all contain the equal amounts of douche) I've only included a few so far, I'll add the next next lot in the next few days or so in part two...let's begin.

*Takes aim*


1. Justin Bieber

Ah Bieber you c***, He's possibly hated by everyone for every reason imaginable, I'm not too sure if it's the "in your face" effeminacy or the "I'm in the closet and you all know it" clause. The main reason everyone hates him is because of his age, a 16 year old (who when first recognised was only 14) singer with the voice of a little girl, and this is no possibility it's a set in stone fact that puberty is going to hit him like a train...then hopefully a train will hit him like a train. No word of a lie a young female relative of mine was listening to his callous drivel on some MTV station and my Grandfather walked in and this is how the dialogue went.

Grandfather: What's this you're listening to?
Child: It's Justin Bieber
Grandfather: What? People do give their daughters strange name's these days.

Now if that isn't the WIN of the century I don't know what is, My grandfather just tore Bieber to shreds, but anyway the main reason I hate him is because he's making modern music completely shit, if you don't mind me saying I mean I could put up with the whole pop music that's inevitable but are people going to look back and say "Woah all that Bieber Fever, good times eh?" NO.

"Yo Kanye, Ima really happy for you but you ARE a twat"

2. Kanye West

Oh Kanye, what went wrong? You used to be good back in 2005, you even had good music back then, but then you discovered money and popularity and thus c**t-ness, I remember when I was younger Kanye wasn't a household name, and then a few years back he released some so called kick ass album (I don't know the name) and the proceeded to enter the world of being a pretentious twat. I think he let the knowledge of his success get the better of him, (Like everyone else in America) and gained this ideology that he is the somehow Lord Protector of both music and the African-American people. The incident at the MTV awards with Taylor Swift was the icing on this cake filled with shame, pretentiousness and faggotry. And have we heard any of Kanye's "AW3S0M3" tuuuuooones recently? no no we haven't not for a good year or two, maybe his delusions of grandeur will wear off? or maybe he'll be a prize "Throw you're toys out of the pram) douche for many a year to follow.

Nick "Ladies Man" Griffin

3. Nick Griffin

Nick Griffin, a politician, a patriot...a prat. Leader of the BNP but really...What planet is this guy on? because it certainly isn't Earth most probably a planet filled with benefit claiming asylum seekers. Now I understand where he is coming from because yes this country does have a problem with both legal and illegal immigration and don't call me racist because it's true, look at any other European country and the trend is the same France, Germany, Italy, Spain etc. And to be quite frank the problem will never cease but it will also ever get to the point that migrants will rise up against the Western Imperialism replace all schools with mosques and hospitals with brothels.

His ideas are strung just a little too far, In all honesty I think the BNP should have perhaps a seat in parliament just to get their views across but not to be in full power where they would remove all non-Aryan people and send them to the Sudan. Nick Grffin is a proven Holocaust denier, evidence is here >>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7Dygboz4Ew
And also, what the flip has the Nazi government of Germany got to do with British Politics? They should slo rename themselves the ENP (English National Party) because there's no immigration problems in Wales or Scotland and he also has no consideration for differences of society when comparing Wales and England. Douche.


Next part coming soon...

Mafia II: My Review ...(Hey that rhymes!)

Ah 3rd person shooters you never fail to entertain me, And Mafia II is one of them! Now I acquired this game about a month or two after it's release so I wasn't completely with the times, but I noticed not a lot of people had bought this game, (well I didn't see anyone playing it online) and that confused me...a lot! This game is ridiculously underrated and has an epic storyline. It's the sequel to Mafia (obviously) which was released back in '04 on PS2 and Xbox, and I never played it, which is usually a bad move with a direct sequel because you have no idea what's going on or who anyone is, But Mafia II was different, according to many online sources (From people who played the original) the game directly follows on, but to me the game was almost as if it had started from scratch, which is good! Of course there was the odd reference to it which is understandable.

Now to the campaign, it was executed perfectly almost like a Mafia film, it follows Vito Scaletta a US army veteran who returns from conflict in the old country (Sicily) to find he has to turn to the wrong side of the law in order to survive basically, Now I'll leave it there with the storyline cause i'm not one for for including spoilers, for two reasons it'll ruin the game if you haven't played it and I hate having to write in the largest and most noticeable text possible saying ***OMFG SPOILERS !!!!*** ...I'm drifting from the point.

But the campaign was brilliant even despite a confusing twist, (I won't continue), but the gameplay is awesome and the cover and attack systems are perfect, along with the driving, both damage graphics and car realism. And a pretty cool soundtrack! (If you're into 1950's doo wah diddy). But it was a game that when playing through it you were eager to know what happened next, basically it was an entertaining campaign with no boring parts! I didn't even skip the cut scenes! Which is a terrible habit of mine when playing a new (boring)game, But Mafia II never got boring although there were parts (the typical 3rd person sandbox problem) where you have to drive aimlessly across the map, back and forth which got a little tedious, but that happens in every game of this nature, maybe they could have perhaps included a "trip skip" feature or something? but it was no biggie.

"Hey Tony! Andiamo! Mama sent her pasta fazoo!"

One thing I was disappointed with was there being no online, it was the perfect setting for a 3rd person GTA/Saints Row multiplayer but there was DLC available on the marketplace so I suppose it's not all that bad, But one VERY BAD flaw with the game was the inability to carry on after the main campaign had finished, which is a big let down because it would have been the perfect ending but overall I thoroughly enjoyed this game and would recommend it even to those who didn't play the previous, I'll give a cool 8.5/10.

Mikey x

Andy Gray and Richard Keys...Bigoted Sexists or just men?

Andy Gray and Richard Keys were both sacked for making "Sexist" comments.

In the News recently it arose that some leaked off air recordings or footage (I'm not too sure) was found to contain both Andy Gray and Richard Keys making sexist comments about a female linesman who was in one Championship match, now I don't follow football religiously if it's on I'll watch it but there is definitely controversy about what happened at the weekend, from both sides. It started where Andy Gray stated that the Female Linesman (Sian Massey I think her name was) didn't know the offside rule, and when I saw this was the reason I thought...wait what? Is that it? Now don't call me sexist (I mean I do make the old tongue in cheek "kitchen, and sandwich" jokes now and then but nothing to actually offend someone) I mean if anything there only stating what people would call "Banter" I mean if you actually ask the majority of women (And I'm talking 90%) don;t know what the offside rule is, hell even some men don;t know it. And it's just a general perception that women don't know it, just like women can't read maps and men won't ask for directions, It's just a simple general perception.

But here come the controversial part form my side (And I can expect that some people may be offended) I believe that SOME women and I'm talking a minor percentage are a little over sensitive about such menial things, such as sexism and banter. In the past few days I've spoken to girls and the vast majority have stated that they think that the sacking of the two commentators is wrong and that they themselves admit that women are known for not knowing the offside rule. But I'm drifting from the point...the point is that this lineswoman DOES know the offside rule and she is a trained professional and you can't make comments about it on TV, TV is a sensitive place to express your opinions quite simply because so many people are watching and some are going to get offended.

Now that was the main story but behind all this were some comments made which WERE out of order (And that's coming from me...a man) where Richard Keys (Right in the photo) stated that a journalist in the Daily Mail who wrote an article on Sexism should "do us all a favour" (Shut up basically) and that is unacceptable, but in my own personal view I think they shouldn't have been sacked for the old "Women don't know the offside rule" joke maybe some sort of cautioning, but if you ever watch the daytime programme Loose Women (And I'm not admitting I do, I just come across it...:/ I joke, I joke!) but the things they say on there about men IS SEXIST and yet no one does anything about it, then again as Bob Dylan once said "The times they are a changin'" and indeed they are, (Did you like my Anchorman reference there? ;)) People have always said that we live in a Man's World but that is changing and I myself think that's a good thing.

Mikey.

Rockstar Games...Make your fans proud!

Ah Rockstar, The games developer with GOD written on their forehead, They have been with me through my entire gaming career, (If you call it a career) creating such masterpieces as the Grand Theft Auto series, The Warriors and Red Dead Redemption. They have honestly NEVER failed to amaze us all.

But one thing they're not good at is being efficient enough to please us often, (Very impatient people us RS fans) They released GTA3 in 2001 which practically changed the face of gaming, then GTA Vice City in 2002 which was almost utter perfection and way ahead of it's time, and it was only a year after! then two years later in '04 they released the masterpiece, the top dog, the bossman... Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. which in my opinion (say what you want) was the best game ever made, and none shall surpass it. Then they had the "spin offs" the stories form Liberty City and Vice City really were just to keep us busy whilst they created GTA 4,

Now...GTA4, GTA4, GTA4 (In the style of a teacher at parents evening) was a bit of a let down to be honest, still a playable game don't get me wrong! but nothing of what it was cracked up to be. And a bit of a kick in the teeth to loyal GTA fans (myself) it lacked a lot of what we love, it was too serious and trying to be more like a film than a fun game, but that's besides the point, that was FOUR years ago! And there's no sign, even now in 2011 of anything coming out.
What I don't think Rockstar realise is the sheer intensity of Loyal fans (also combined which 13 year old robots) that buy their games, All they need to do is re-release a new formatted GTA: San Andreas and they'll make bloody millions! as well as practically ending my social life and making any other game irrelevant. But as many say they need a NEW GTA, not set in a "revamped" Liberty City, My personal opinion would be one set back in the 70's, perhaps a Starsky and Hutch style game, in a new city, with the classic GTA comedic storyline that is somehow serious at the same time. I could be here for days listing all my ideas but at the end of the day we want something new! but something new that still sticks the ol' GTA tradition.

The reason I played it so much was because there isn't any specific objective in the game, you're never tied down to one thing, yeah the story mode is there (and it usually kicks ass) but if you don't want to do that there's so much to do elsewhere, even just exploring makes it awesome. The GTA series is a powerful one, it's inspired the "GTA clones" you know...True Crime, Saints Row, Mafia, The Godfather? and imitation is the best form of flattery ;) please let me know your ideas!

Mikey

Facebook...Making everyone it's bitch since 2005?

Now, I spend a lot of time online whether it be on my Xbox, Laptop or iPod. And many aspects of it do take my fancy (No pornography jokes please) you know the usual, Blogger, Youtube, Sickipedia all the good'ns. But one website everyone uses, yes you guessed it...Facebook a pioneering social network created by a Jewish student in 2005, good ol' Mark Zuck. And I bet your expecting me to go into detail like I always do and complain or some shit, but today i'm here to state that this network is a form of MIND CONTROL that's right I'm being serious...MIND CONTROL.

Now before the days of "The Book" there was Bebo, or "Paedophiles Playground" as I liked to call it, and before that there was Piczo which was known as "Paedophiles Playground with personal glitter customization" and these little phases lasted about a year or two before people got bored (or just grew up). But Facebook is different, for once it's lasted a lot longer than it's predecessors, but I think the sheer simplicity of Facebook makes it so popular, Being able to just "Like" someone's status rather than having to physically type that you enjoy their post, and the fact that yes it is a lot more grown up that Bebo, I mean the name says it all. But behind all the glitzy glamour of Mark Zuckerbergs genius lies a horror ridden brutal truth soaked in DERP. And that is... The people of Facebook, Now the majority of it's users usually keep to themselves but the other "half" are the epitamy of "Shoot me now, someone please shoot me" endless statuses about (excuse my French) FUCK ALL and joining of groups which make me want to punch the nearest living organism, groups such as...

- I hate it when...
- The awkward moment when...
- You hurt me, you left me, blaaah

and this infuriates me, (don't ask why I'm just an angry person in general)

But on many occasions I have considered deleting my account and seeing what real life is like, and last night on the 17th of January 2011 I pressed that fateful button and my account was gone, all good yes? NO, within 24 hours (so about 2 hours ago) I reactivated it and began doing the usual, and I'm going to be truthful with you all, but I couldn't function without it! I still had my Blogger, Youtube, Sickipedia etc, but after that I would stare at the Google homepage for minutes trying to decide what to do next, WHY IS THIS? if you know please don't hesitate to comment, I mean yeah I use Facebook to promote my postings of this very blog but I could live without that surely, I must say Mark Zuckerberg really hasn't done the whole "Jews controlling the media" stereotype any justice but I have up-most respect for that guy, even if his creation has turned me into a mindless robot.

Graphics Tablet, MrDrMEME D:

Happy New Year!

Now recently I saw a few of my friends had purchased a graphics tablet and seeing some of the stuff they come up with they look pretty fun. Now I am a huuuuggge fan of internet memes (the funny ones) and I often create them using www.memegenerator.org or good ol' MS Paint, but if I can get a GT I will upload some of the stuff onto here, because being old fashioned I often draw "meme" like pictures and sketches in spare time, and when I say spare time I really mean "When I should be listening in college" but I'm only human ;)

But here comes the LOL for you all I'd get these pictures (on paper) and then physically get my camera, take a picture of a picture then upload it to Facebook, for the amusement of my friends cause I'm cool an' shiit. But yes I didn't even use a scanner so when I heard about aquiring a GT I was in good measures.

But anyway here are some examples of my "art" which isn't art in the slightest but you get my drift it won't be a patch on some of the awesomeness people come up with, anyways when I get one I will post some randoms on here

Mikey x

360 Gaming for 2010, MrDrMikey's review.

Ahoy people sorry I haven't got round to writing on here, but I thought I may aswell add somehting with today being the last day of 2010, so without further adieu I present you my summary of 2010 gaming,

Gaming:

Now 2010 for gaming was pretty good, a good selection of games came out this year and now I'll try my best to summarise the few I have played without being too biased because I'm sure I'll get some DerP trolling me with emails about how they disagree and I become a Fggt noob. Now I have missed out some of the big ones Halo, Fifa etc because in all honesty if I was to include them I should change my name to iTz Pr0 L0g111cZz and reduce my age by 5 years... let's begin.

CoD Black Ops.

Now as you all know the Call of Duty series is the biggest in the world, and no matter how terrible the game is, everyone (even me) will continue to play it and complain about it, but Black Ops is a slight exception the campaign was superb although they could have included the ol' CoD sniper/stealth mission, but the online was the games downbringer, a barrage of overpowered guns and a spawning system with that seems to have been contructed by a chimpanzee. But this can all be rectified with a simple patch (But Treyarch still have their heads in their behinds)and I will continue to play it until the dreaded Modern Warfare 3 is released next November. Now heres my score for BOps 8/10

Jus.t Cause 2.

Now I seem to be only person in the world (Or just on my friends list) who enjoyed and still enjoys this game, It is the sequel to Just Cause (obviously) and to be honest that wasn't the best game ever made, infact it was one of the worst made games since Barbie Surfing back '01. But the sequel was immense, a massive Sandbox style of gaming firing explosions, awesome vehicles and weapons, the campaign was mediocre but the fun factor was 10/10, the trouble is these days is too many gamers are saying "Like thats realistic?!" focusing primarily on if something can be achieved in real life and yes in JC2 you can hang on the side of a jumbo jet and fire a rocket launcher at a boat below but ITS FUN! who cares? I still play this game now and it never gets boring. Now I'm gonna split the score up into two for this one Campaign = 4/10, Fun Factor = 10/10!! ...overall score 8/10.

Red Dead Redemption.

Now when I review games I try my best to find to find the pro's and con's with it, you know the good and bad points, after playing Red Dead Redemption my brain went into overdrive in trying find something wrong with it, It is (you may disagree) one of the best game sof the last 10 years, if not ever. The story mode was executed perfectly almost as if it was directed in Hollywood, And there are so many game modes online which are fun as hell, and on Halloween of this year Rockstar released Undead Nightmare which was the icing on the cake, It is a perfect game that I will NEVER dispose of. Western games aren't common basically because they can get repetetive I bought GUN in 2005 and that was awesome and then Red Dead came out and blew me away, Trust me Western games are very black and white, either pretty bad or amazing. Now I give this game 10/10...that's right TEN.

Medal of Honor.

Now, Medal of Honor...when I first heard about this I actually said in my head "0mFg Rly?" because I;ve been playing the MoH series since the first one back in 1999 which made me only 7, (Yeah my parents let me play anything)and I found the series to be grossly underrated the last game was MoH Airbourne in 2007 and that was extremely overshadowed by CoD4, and I loved it, But when MoH 2010 was announced and stating it was to be set in present day I was skeptic, So I preordered it and when I played through the campaign I was impressed but it felt like just another FPS there was nothing special about it, and (here comes grumpy Mikey)when I played online I was shocked...very shocked, I did'nt enjoy any of it, nothing felt right and it didn't feel like any previous MoH installment, that's why I traded it in the next day, But I would reccomend this game because I see why people enjoy it, but NOBODY plays it anymore I spend a considerable ammount of time online and I haven't seen anyone on this for over 2 months, I give this game 6/10



Now I may have not included the games you wanted me to have, or not gone into detail, basically because it's New Years eve, and I don't want to spend it writing on here (No offence Blogger) So I shall return int he New Year with more posts, Seasons greetings to you all, and have a Happy New Year :)

Mikey x

MrDrMikey's Guide to Xbox LIVE Insults.

You camping hacker noob bum!

Ahoy people, let's get straight to the point, XBL, apart from being a gaming network for millions it's also a place to insult people, and when you insult people on it you have to do it properly, you can either say something so epic someone will delete their account in the sheer embarrasment or you could fail miserably and become the laughing stock of the world...let's begin.

1. "Your Mum" Jokes:
The bain of all jokes, quite simply don't even attempt to say one of these, no matter how well you execute it you will still be a cunt. Your Mum jokes were funny for around 20 minutes in 2005, if you say them you may as well say "I have no idea how to insult someone"

2. Shouting and screaming like a bitch so they other person can't speak:
This is the complete definition of bastardry, and not only irritates the person you're trying to outdo but everyone else in the game, it's not big and it's not clever, Real Translation: "Oh shit! I have no idea what to say so I'll replicate the noise a toddler makes when you tell them they're going to Disneyland."

3. Repetetive Stereotyping:
Yes it seems funny but it's boring as hell, we all know Americans are fat, and British people have bad teeth. trust me, I've been hearing this shit for 3 years now, maybe try and invert it a little and think of something that will genuinely shock them, e.g.

American: "Faggot Bitch"
Me: "Faggot? Where did you learn that? When you're daddy introduced you to the ways of the Klan?"

4. Racism
The most cowardly and arrogant way to try and offend someone, sinks you as low as some interbred, ill educated chauncer! Being racist just proves that you have no idea of not only insulting someone but also lowers your maturity levels to that of someone who has an account on Icanhascheezburger.com.

5. Gay
Saying someone is "Gay" is stupidity and childishness as it's finest, Microsoft upon hearing this through a mic should delete the accused's account or atleast make them recieve a message of some personification of *facepalm*

6. Grammar Nazism
A personal favourite of mine, mostly used in online text messaging, because these days you're prone to "OmG u iz a hackerrrr!!!!!111oneeleven!!!" and quite simply retyping their messag with the correct English grammar not only is a simple correction of their mistake but also makes them feel as small Justin Bieber's ....You know what I mean.

7. Mocking someone in a voice they don't have
Inspire by the Facebook group, humans have been mocking their peers, relatives, enemies, co-workers in voices they don't have, it's often topped off with a hefty dose of sarcasm "Ooooooh shut uppppp" It can be good in ways, but mostly it's just (in the words of my good friend Gary) ...Faggotry. If someone insults you and they have an obscure accent then yes, it is kinda funny but if they just simpky have a different accent trying to replicate it with extreme exaggeration puts the title "Cunt of the week" on you.

8. Mute
And finally the most easiset and sensible option, just muting someone, nobody wins, nobody loses, and you get a bit of calm from the shouting pre pubescent 12 year olds calling me (a white guy) a n****r.


I hope you enjoyed my post please comment and add things that you think  missed out and what not,

much love x

Black Ops: WHAT HAPPENED?

Letting the side down QQ

 Black Ops, before it's release there were mixed feelings about what it would be like and when it was released to the vast majority everyone was pretty shocked at how "not" shit it was, even me!. The campaign in a rough overview was awesome, and at first the multiplayer was pretty good. But after playing it for some time i've realised...Oh God, what have they done?! *insert shocked troll face here*

The online maps are awesome, couldn't ask for anything better, weapons? not bad at all wouldn't fault any of them...Spawning? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, Shooting mid air and getting hitmarkers? FUUUUUUUUUUU, This is HORRIBLY bad, now with a game with such a massive online community and a FPS you have to accept that yes once in a while shit like this happens, whether it's CoD, Battlefield you name it it's going to happen under no ones control, but in BOps it's all the bloody time! I was enjoying a game of Domination on the map WMD with some good friends Gary, Will and Jeff when I spawned and within TWO seconds got killed by someone just standing infront of me and this didn't happen once or twice this happened SIX BLOODY TIMES in the space of about 40 seconds I of course did the most acceptable thing and ragequit like a bitch. sort it out Treyarch! if this stuff is patched ASAP we could have an enjoyable game right here!

And also the "Shooting mid air and getting hitmarkers" ? Watch this video below, this is my own video from my file share of me in a game of One In The Chamber (An awesome mode, Pistol, One bullet, Bullet reloads after a kill) and after a brief scuffle with this young fella' (Blatantly knifing him, and him most probably blatantly knifing me) I shot what appears to be a chair whislt this chap was about 4 ft to the left of it...and yes it killed him, (It also appears that I made a chair bleed?)





Sickening? YES it is, Treyarch need to get their shit together and sort this out because it's ruining a good game, Maybe the glory of recieving  the title of "Most copies sold in first 24 hours than ANY other game" has gone to their heads? I dont know :( But it's depressing.

Student Protests

Necessary?...NO

Recently the Tories caused upset by stating that they lifted the cap on how much universities should charge and reduced the funding. As of course these students want to "rise up against oppression" ... ¬¬ The people protesting have no idea at all, holding signs saying "Education is not a privelage, it's a right" yes a right to people within compulsory education age, if you go to uni then it is a privelage. Don't vent your anger entirely on the government when it's the universities themselves who charge the extortionate fees, the government only lifted the cap on how much they charge, so instead of protesting about how they can't afford to go to uni, they should face up to the fact you get what you pay for, education isn't cheap.


Excuse my language but these middle class cunts think that by protesting in violent manners writing "REVOLUTION" on buildings think that they are some sort of victims of a fascist regime living under an oppressive dictatorship. These kids are brainwashed thinking that they are the new Che Guevara or something.
In the 50's and 60's Che Guevara fought against Capitalist dicatorship in South America he was a working man fighting the power hungry oppressors, he wasnt some prick from Tunbridge Wells.

The REAL Revolutionary

I understand that yes it is a hefty sum for people to pay, but you have to live with it, it's not state education it's PRIVATE  education and you get what you pay for, why dont some of these students perhaps save the money they use for getting pissed and stoned to use for fees? Yes this country needs people with University standard qualifications but its not ESSENTIAL, this country needs working people (you know REAL workers? not someone who has a degree in surfing or soemthing)

I'm an anti-tory all the way, my family are from the North of  England  which means in the 80's Thatcher pretty much ruined everything (No questions), But I agree with these cuts, and do you know why? Because they're cutting the least effective things that drain our economy, silly departments within the government and scrapping "mickey mouse courses", So before you rip me to shreds remember

- You get what you pay for
 

You know what grinds my gears? Part 1

Now, I'm a reasonable guy and I have the upmost repsect for anyones views...but by jove do some things piss me off? ...let's begin.


1. Reality TV: What a waste of bloody life eh? X Factor? Big Brother? all such a waste of time and money, watching fame hungry juveniles create a so called "career" from doing sod all, X factor finalists let alone contestants are wiped from the face of the earth 6 months after the show, and Big Brother? scrounging, benefit chavs who after being seen on camera are classed as "celebrities". It's disturbing...these people earn shitloads of money for doing feck' all, if a brain surgeon said "I haven't done much in the last year" they would get fucking owned but if you were on Big Brother 05 you're a celebrity.

...but in all fairness I'm a Celebrity is quite funny.

2. People who create sexist, childish Facebook pages: This is the brunt of all hipocracy and idiocy, a 14 year old girl making a page called "All boys should do a GCSE in "How to treat a female" and "CoD is a game played by immature boys" I mean how the feck do these kids know what the gaming community is like? 6 million gamers all immature? and these girls who have a 14 year old boyfriend and think because he didn't share his Turkey Twizzlers with her, the entire male gender is not to be trusted.

3: Over Liberal People: Now, I class myself as a liberal guy, and any person is entitled to their own opinion and as a decent human being you should respect it, but people can't get away with ANYTHING and you can't let them either by throwing the old "It's their choice", If someone murdered a child with a rusty paperclip would you respect them? NO sometimes you need to stop being like a pure exaggerated Mahatma Ghandi and dissagree with someone for once.

4: Emo's: Now the Emo phase is practically dead, I think I started around 2005 and ended in about 2009? It's long gone (Thank the bloody lord) Having 4 years of suburban teenagers who suddenly after listening to some American commercialised pop crap, have "problems" and draw red lines on their wrists to gain attentions from the other wannabe vampires, and what's worse for these two years people who listened to more rock orientated music (me) were branded Emos by uneducated scum (read below)


5: Chavs, NEDS (Non-Educated Delinquents): Now these people ruin our soceity and turn our streets into scum riddled sesspits where we feel uncomfortable to go outside incase we get verbally (or physically) attacked by these assailants. They usually dwell in less well to do areas, have little or no income (if they do it's probably stolen) and hate anyone who doesn't look like them. In order to not be judged by these dcreatures you must...1. Wear expensive tracksuits that are somehow acquired with little income you have? don't wash for the best part of 10 days, and speak like your regurgitating. They often lose their virginities around the ages of 11 -13 and their main goal in life is to start a fight with anyone and I mean ...ANYONE whether it be male, female, animal, OAP, Tony Blair, you name it they want to kick the shit out of it for no reason whatsoever, If you find yourself in one of these areas keep your guard out, hide your money in your shoes and don't give eye contact. Because if you do this will happen.

Assailant: "What you lookin at you retard!"
Average: "Excuse Me?"
Assailant: "You Startin'?"
Average: "What?"
Assailant: *Punches*


You can counteract these creatures by leaving them with a riddle, such as...

1: "How many qualifications do you have?"
2: "Who's your Biological Father?"
3: "When was the last time you acquired money within the law?"

Xbox LIVE: Are the good days over?

iTz L1v3 Bruvv

Now, I'm not one for moaning or complaining about things but one thing has really got to me and that is...How much Xbox LIVE has changed, not how Microsoft have edited or modified it, but what I mean is the PEOPLE who play it. I've had my Xbox 360 since 2007 and LIVE at that time was popular don't get me wrong but it was somewhat less ...intrusive? (even with the arse mouthed Yanks). I could turn on my Xbox and play a game of Call of Duty or Gears of War and have a fair honest game with other fair honest gamers, now you may disagree but those days are long gone.

It seems you have to be awesome at a game or in the language of the 13 year old pre pubescents "ItZ pr0 b34stttt". The whole purpose of the online game experience is to play fair? no?

I recently acquired CoD: Black Ops (as you may know), and in a game of TDM I finished with the lovely old score of 7 kills - 12 deaths ...(shoot me down in flames if you must)  but it's a new game ;) and after the game finshed I recieved a message from  an iTz Jo33y 97, << that implies he's 13! saying...

"wow m8 u r shit" ...And I couldnt help but think to myself..."really?, really?" is someone that determined to go out of their way to purpously try and sabotage gameplay? and what's funny is that the majority of kids on LIVE  aren't old enough to play the games, and also if confronted with the real concept of Aghanistan they would actually defficate in their age 11 -12 Ben 10 briefs.

Now...I personally believe that ALL this is caused by Microsoft making Xbox's more available to the public, which is understandable for a multinational corporation. But ever since the adverts "Xbox 360: now from £109:99!" more illiterate and uneducated childrfen have polluted my console. Now you may think I sound like a middle class chauncer complaining of commoners but I'm not! I was 15 when I got my Xbox and I saved for a whole year to get it! (and it's still going strong! ;) ), but now these kids are getting consoles dirt cheap and making gameplay for REAL players completely shit. If you're in an argument with someone on LIVE (not that the mute button doesn't help) it's was all about the wise cracking comebacks and swift put downs (ah the good old days) but now it's "Your mum!" "alalalalalala you sound like a fockin fock! you fock!" personally in my opinion there should be an age limit for LIVE users that is strictly enforced so people can enjoy it how it used to be. or just make them expensive so pikey urchins won't dominate my gameplay.

I HAVE SPOKEN.

Black Ops: My Review

I was driving...no, no I kid ;D

Black Ops is here, after (some) eager anticipation it's finally here, not that you didn't know, I mean I had 34 friends out of 60 online yesterday which...34 were on Black Ops, determination right there. But lets get to the point, Is it good? Well...Yes, Yes it is.

The Campaign was awesome and added a different feel to the generic CoD campaigns, a gritty storyline focusing on the realism of war, none of this "Shit! it's the Taliban, get out the Super Thermonuclear Fully Automatic Pistol" this game shows Vietnam exactly how it was (not that I was there to witness it) and I know what your thinking "It's set in the 60's so there is no crazy ass weapons" NO there were MANY missions in this game that just used rusty knives, pistols, AK's and even fireball slingshots (badass). But as we always know CoD campaigns are never usually a let down it's the multiplayer that we're all really bothered about.

And after months of hater's (gon' hate) saying that this game would be terrible after MW2 I think you may have been proved wrong here, The online has changed dramatically but in strange way that we all know how to still play it? M16's have been toned down, No quickscoping, and a selection on pretty good maps.


BUT...it's not all fun and games (well it is) but you know what I mean, I was shocked at the ability of the smaller weapons (MP5, Skorpion) being RIDICULOUSLY overpowered, TWO bullets on a non-harcore mode to kill me! I sense bad usage of these :/ It seems Treyarch have been so focused on toning down everything that annoyed us in the last games that they may have made something worse. But to be honest this is the only fault I can find with the game, and I would reccomend it. But hater's gon' hate and these are people who haven't even played the game, just play it and you'll see!


And the ability to kill zombies in the Pentagon whilst portaying John. F. Kennedy or Fidel Castro is enough to make any fun loving human being buy this game. ;)

Black Ops: Time for a change?

How are we going to spend the next 12 months?

Now, Call of Duty perhaps the biggest FPS franchise of today and maybe all time...BUT and I couldnt emphasise that "but" anymore, we have a problem. This time last year Infinity Ward released Modern Warfare 2 the biggest selling FPS to date and yes as Activision always promise we were given an epic campaign (no questions asked) as with every other CoD game. But there's no point purchasing an action shooting game if you're not going to play it online and we all know that MW2 was a big of a middle finger to CoD players as the Godfather 3.

But I'm getting distracted...IS Black Ops going to change it all? or are we going to spend the next year trying to restrain ourselves from destroying our consoles? Well...Black Ops is made by Treyarch who made CoD: World at War back in 2008 and it was not a bad game at all! Good campaign and a bit of on and offline gore to top it all off (Lovely stuff). But Treyarch let the power get to them by releasing DLC maps, which aren't a problem but included them in ALL playlists, so if you didn't have them you got kicked out of games (Like me :/). But after looking at previews of BOps it looks like Treyarch have done their homework. stating they've countered the Quickscoping problem which I can give a resounding THANK FUCK FOR THAT, so it looks like there's going to be around 5 million smug 14 year olds crying in unison for the next 6 months. ... ;)

And also they have countered the NoobTube problem which has been around since the days of CoD3, by making Ntubes only kill an enemy if it is within direct range of an enemy, But the whole point of CoD is to have these problems giving you some sort of euphemistic challenge not set by the game itself. Now...I know what you're thinking sounds all good yes? Well it's not all good, BOps will include Commando Pro, Danger Close Pro and all their annoying friends, so this game will have you being stabbed from 10ft away and being blown up by a grenade in another map. But remember...CoD can't keep everything the same in each game so some things will annoy some players as compared to others. But with the QScoping and NTubing problem countered it looks like we could be in for an honest year of decent gaming, with added suicidal QScopers which isn't a problem :P

But Treyarch seemed to have made a gritty game full of the realism of war, none of this high tech shit. It looks like if BOps was a person it would be Rambo with a big ass knife compare to MW2 which is GI Joe with a pistol, this game looks like it has "Renegade" written all over and maybe we could be in for a treat...oh and theres zombies!

I guess we'll see on Tuesday.

Call of Duty 4: Dogs, Not all they're cracked up to be.

Scary Shit!

Call of Duty 4! Groundbreaker in FPS history, renowned for it's cutting edge graphics and features for a game released in 2007. All well and good, in the game, (to those who have played it) it has dangerous evil dogs of death that chew your neck like it were a freshly opened tin of Pedigree Chum. Look here! >>




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 I know what your thinking, dogs? All you need is a gun...right? NO...well yes you do need a gun, and you do need to kill a human which is more illegal than killing a dog so you're not in the best situation but ah well. Go to the mission "All Ghillied Up" which if I may add is the best mission of any FPS ever! Anyway find your self to this building here. (Below)

It's not the Ritz but it'll do

Go to the widow that God goes to...Sorry I mean Captain Macmillan, And kill the 3 filthy humans who dwell within (and do it quickly)>>>

 

 

 

Look at them...all high and mighty ¬ ¬

Then! You can find a young canine enjoying himself on the sofa, and don't worry he wont attack you, if anything he looks quite happy with himself  (below)

...pfft what Rabies?

 Go into the back room and you'll see to more furry friends! and no no they wont hurt you, because their evil Russian owners are dead and now they're free to go live on a farm in South Dakota. (below)

Pet them they don't bite!

 But I have bad news :( I tried to see what would happen if i "removed" one little fella, and in an act of pure treason his friend just acted as if NOTHING had happened :/ (below)

The trigger slipped :/

 And that was my blog on how to domesticate evil communist dogs into lovable four legged friends who have no grief for their lost comrades.