MrDrMikey's Guide to Xbox LIVE Insults.

You camping hacker noob bum!

Ahoy people, let's get straight to the point, XBL, apart from being a gaming network for millions it's also a place to insult people, and when you insult people on it you have to do it properly, you can either say something so epic someone will delete their account in the sheer embarrasment or you could fail miserably and become the laughing stock of the world...let's begin.

1. "Your Mum" Jokes:
The bain of all jokes, quite simply don't even attempt to say one of these, no matter how well you execute it you will still be a cunt. Your Mum jokes were funny for around 20 minutes in 2005, if you say them you may as well say "I have no idea how to insult someone"

2. Shouting and screaming like a bitch so they other person can't speak:
This is the complete definition of bastardry, and not only irritates the person you're trying to outdo but everyone else in the game, it's not big and it's not clever, Real Translation: "Oh shit! I have no idea what to say so I'll replicate the noise a toddler makes when you tell them they're going to Disneyland."

3. Repetetive Stereotyping:
Yes it seems funny but it's boring as hell, we all know Americans are fat, and British people have bad teeth. trust me, I've been hearing this shit for 3 years now, maybe try and invert it a little and think of something that will genuinely shock them, e.g.

American: "Faggot Bitch"
Me: "Faggot? Where did you learn that? When you're daddy introduced you to the ways of the Klan?"

4. Racism
The most cowardly and arrogant way to try and offend someone, sinks you as low as some interbred, ill educated chauncer! Being racist just proves that you have no idea of not only insulting someone but also lowers your maturity levels to that of someone who has an account on Icanhascheezburger.com.

5. Gay
Saying someone is "Gay" is stupidity and childishness as it's finest, Microsoft upon hearing this through a mic should delete the accused's account or atleast make them recieve a message of some personification of *facepalm*

6. Grammar Nazism
A personal favourite of mine, mostly used in online text messaging, because these days you're prone to "OmG u iz a hackerrrr!!!!!111oneeleven!!!" and quite simply retyping their messag with the correct English grammar not only is a simple correction of their mistake but also makes them feel as small Justin Bieber's ....You know what I mean.

7. Mocking someone in a voice they don't have
Inspire by the Facebook group, humans have been mocking their peers, relatives, enemies, co-workers in voices they don't have, it's often topped off with a hefty dose of sarcasm "Ooooooh shut uppppp" It can be good in ways, but mostly it's just (in the words of my good friend Gary) ...Faggotry. If someone insults you and they have an obscure accent then yes, it is kinda funny but if they just simpky have a different accent trying to replicate it with extreme exaggeration puts the title "Cunt of the week" on you.

8. Mute
And finally the most easiset and sensible option, just muting someone, nobody wins, nobody loses, and you get a bit of calm from the shouting pre pubescent 12 year olds calling me (a white guy) a n****r.


I hope you enjoyed my post please comment and add things that you think  missed out and what not,

much love x